11 she was an artist. she dreamed

Because of her paranoia
she had no television, rarely
used her computer, would often
throw away her mobile phone
and change her number;
she thought it was being bugged.
She had accused her mother
and female neighbours
of being witches, once
accused a woman
walking her dog
of sending messages to the police.
She was unable to shop or cook.
Shopping online was difficult – she did not like
to use the computer, was scared
to open the door.
She would turn up outside her mother’s house
7am
screaming
threatening to burn the house down.
At one stage
she tried to climb the telegraph pole
outside the house.
On several occasions she had run away –
to local woodland, where she had lived for several months;
to Siberia in the middle of winter;
to Israel –
to escape those she believed
were conspiring against her.
She was an artist. She dreamed
of buying
a rundown bungalow
in Cornwall.
She had attempted suicide several times when she was younger;
a demon
in her head
was telling her to take her own life.

For the last year of her life
she had been complaining of extreme fatigue.
She had lived with her mother and step-father for many years,
then for two years in sheltered accommodation nearby,
but was moved into a housing association flat.
The flat was very dirty. No working
appliances, full
of rubbish and filth,
huge holes in the floor,
the dual carriageway
in front of the windows.
All her benefits
had been removed by the Department,
which wrote to tell her
her support was ending
because she had failed to return a form on time.
The Housing Association
sent letters
threatening to evict her.
The Council sent a summons
for unpaid tax.
Her electricity had been
cut off.
During the summer, she visited her mother regularly,
and told her she was surviving
on a sandwich and a cup of coffee a day.

In September, she had a psychotic episode
and again cut off
contact with her mother.
In October, her mother messaged her
that her grandmother had died.
There was no reply.
She was being given injections of flupenthixol
a powerful anti-psychotic
every two weeks.
Later in October,
her non-appearance
for the scheduled injection
failed to be noticed –
the Trust had been significantly under-staffed –
until a new co-ordinator
tried unsuccessfully to contact her,
and alerted the police
a week later.
In March, the Department wrote to her mother
to tell her it would be making a back-payment
from April to the day in November
when the police discovered her body.

[Disability News Service, 08/09/2022, DWP hounded disabled woman for years before her ‘starvation’ death, papers show]

15 he sat in his car in a quiet country lane

He was twenty thousand pounds
in debt. Payday loans;
one thousand per cent interest.
His children told their grandmother
Santa hadn’t come the year before.
A single dad, he quit his job in a factory to look after his children, but fell behind with rent
and with trying to feed and clothe them.
He had four pounds sixty one pence
in his account, waiting for the benefit;
there is an average five-week wait for the first payment.
He had been served an eviction notice.
He sat in his car in a quiet country lane,
crying.

[Metro, 21/07/2019, Dad, 34, took his own life after wait for Universal Credit left him with £4.61; Daily Mirror, 20/07/2019, Single dad with just £4.61 took own life after waiting weeks for Universal Credit]

27 left in his flat

He had been sectioned before,
could not cope
with unexpected changes.
‘Upsets my life completely.
Feel under threat and upset.
Cannot deal with social
situations. Keep myself
to myself. Do not engage
with strangers. Have no social life.
Feel anxiety and panic
in new situations.’
He had been receiving benefits for many years
as a result of enduring mental distress.
The Department stopped his allowance
and backdated that decision
to the previous month
after making two unsuccessful visits to his home
to ask him why he had not attended a face-to-face assessment.
His housing benefit was also stopped;
standard procedure.
He had just a couple of out-of-date tins of fish
left in his flat
and he weighed just four-and-a-half stone
when his body was found by bailiffs
who had knocked down his front door
to evict him.

[Disability News Service, 23/01/2020, The death of Errol Graham: Man starved to death after DWP wrongly stopped his benefits]

39 starting from zero again

A note was discovered on his computer
by his parents,
detailing exactly
how and when
he planned
to take his own life.
He was 28,
autistic,
diagnosed with depression.
The Department ordered him
to attend a work capability assessment.
He refused.
The Department decided
to terminate his benefits,
his only source of income.
Six years ago
he told his social workers
he did not wish to have contact
with his family.
His parents had battled to see him since
but were forbidden from knowing
where he lived.
He had previously gone
voluntarily
to the acute inpatient mental health unit
in the town where he lived
after being told about the assessment.
He was reluctant to ask for help again.
‘If I am accepted,
I will have to stay up to 28 days
or six months
in a boring and cramped environment
surrounded
by very damaged people. After which
it will be determined
that I no longer need treatment
and will be allowed to leave.
I will likely be homeless,
starting from zero again,
and the vicious cycle
will begin anew.’
Social services closed his case
after he failed to respond to letters.
The note revealed
he made three separate attempts
to hang himself
between 2016 and 2018.
He wrote:
‘Each time I failed with panic.’
He wrote:
‘I cannot be bothered to fight this
any more. I am
out of energy. I only exist
to do what I want to do.
Dealing with paperwork,
making phone calls, feeling
anxious
every day
about whether I am going to be homeless
are things I do not want to do.’
His body was discovered
in an advanced state of decomposition
nine months later
when housing association officials
called to evict.

[Milton Keynes Citizen, 16/09/2019, Autistic Milton Keynes man left suicide note on computer explaining tragic reasons he took his own life; Milton Keynes Citizen, 02/12/2020, ‘Our son’s tragic loss of life could have been avoided’, say parents of autistic Milton Keynes man whose death went unnoticed for nine months]

56 until the money ran out

His family only pieced together his predicament
after discovering a repossession order
in the bin.
He had lived in the house all his life.
The order,
dated 13 September 2013,
gave him ten days to leave.
He suffered from mental health problems
including agoraphobia.
He had worked
as an assistant sales manager
in the 80s but
after leaving
he failed to find further employment.
Depression
and a suicide attempt
followed;
1989, an overdose
which damaged his vision.
(He was registered as partially blind
in 1994.)
After this he never worked again.
‘He was never extravagant,
didn’t go on holiday,
never had a car,’
his sister said.
His benefits were stopped in December 2012
after an assessment
found him fit for work.
‘He couldn’t ask for help.
He didn’t want to be a burden on anyone.’
Relatives believe he lived off his savings
until the money ran out.
It was his sister who found his body,
two days before the eviction date,
hanging in his hallway.

[Stourbridge News, 26/12/2013, Disabled Kinver man killed himself after being left “almost destitute” when his state benefits were axed]